I guess most of us value honesty as an important virtue in everything that we do, or in any decisions that we make. In fact, we judge people and value friendships/relationships on how honest and open they are.
But somehow, i feel that the most dishonest deeds i've done to is actually to myself. It's like i've been lying to myself all these while. It's sort of deluding, i've lots of time during this holiday perod, and you know when a person has time, he starts to think. And it's like i'm just not living my life the way i wanted it to be.
I paint a beautiful picture of how my life would be each time people ask me about dreams and aspirations, but somehow it's so hard to get the colours on this painting. Obviously, i know that life is coupled with ups and downs, and i know that today by writing this down is just an outlet to release my emotions, but somehow i'm still pretty disappointed with myself in some areas of my life.
The funniest fact is that i know where my mistake is, yet i seldom rectify. It's like a "burning-candle effect", when there's the passion & motivation to do that something or work on something, i get very focused and give my 100%, but once the flame is off, i become lazy, and just get things done the quickest method.
Well, i really hope by writing this down, i'm really able to achieve something that i want to, i want to come out with a list of things that i want to do and i will do my best to fufill it. I guess ultimately, the main beneficiary would be myself.
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4 comments:
Its the process of growing up, I think.
It happens to me too. and whenever I think about it, I get hit real hard.
having higher expectation of ourselves and all sets in..
anw, go easy on yourself aiight? haha. i feel life doesn't always go the way we want/plann it.
for me, m'tryin to enjoy and embrace every moment(havin difficulties but still..) haha.
like what you've said to me, my turn to you.
"JIA YOU! KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!"
:D
Hey, thanks man! Don't worry, i'm fine. Haha! Yeah, let's jiayou together than! :)
I think we are all guilty of that...just forge ahead and we do need to give ourselves that bit of leeway at times...cheers!
haha! Thanks man! yeah yong wang zhi qian! haha! :)
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